well, that's enough ado then.here we go...
you know your conscious conscience
isn't wiggling all its cylinders
when...
uno) you’ve ever believed for even a single second that the US government gives a fuck about Muslims in China.
dos) you understand the last time there was an actual foreign military threat near what the US considers to be its "borders," it responded so aggressively it almost ended the world. and yet you seem to expect Russia and China to meekly accept the relentless heaping of seamlessly teeming rampant military threats all along their borders.
uno) you’ve ever believed for even a single second that the US government gives a fuck about Muslims in China.
dos) you understand the last time there was an actual foreign military threat near what the US considers to be its "borders," it responded so aggressively it almost ended the world. and yet you seem to expect Russia and China to meekly accept the relentless heaping of seamlessly teeming rampant military threats all along their borders.
tres) you think being anti-war means putting a Ukraine flag in your Twitter bio (whatever that is.)
cuatro) you think Vlad the Putin, (who stays up at night hating "us" for our alleged "freedom") stepped in to stop the ongoing (studiously ignored by the media, fascist) murder of the Russian speaking populace of those independently minded sections of Ukraine who refused to go along with the Victoria Nuland concocted (we have it on tape) coup that stole democracy from Ukraine back in 2014 (thus, by the by, handsomely enriching the unbridled war monger puppet's son, which to help the imaginary "Democrats" win their imaginary election the fixing of agenda called "the news" willfully refused to report) because he is obtusely evil and hates this thing called freedom (and, like all cartoon Hitlers, wants to take over OUR world,) and the US has been pouring weapons in this whole entire time (managing, win-win, to starve its social uplift) because it loves Ukrainians (even though its ceaseless provocations are sacrificing them in droves - and even though it's henchmen have now taken to complaining those postcard minions are too "casualty averse,") and also, of course, because it wants to protect what its childishly simplistic outrageously insulting soulless zombie operatives (masquerading as diplomats) so arrogantly bandy about as "exceptional" and exemplary "freedom and democracy."
cinco) you can listen to the unhinged puppet's Blinken Nod talk without wanting to throw trash at his head.
seis) you think the US also loves Australians, and that's why it's filling the outback with war machinery as it spares no expanse to ramp up its next sacrificial theatre.
siete) you refer to the NATO thugs as a “defensive alliance,” even though, entirely unprovoked (except for the interests of British oil and French domination,) they destroyed the most prosperous nation in Africa, to stop it from launching a new African currency that would have freed Northwest Africa from the French purse stringed yoke, allowing its curried extremists to descend Libya into an open slave market, (where some of the formerly most liberated women in the Arab World, who used to get free college and health care, now can't leave their houses uncovered,) and spewing the gun control toting, stability enfabled mislabelled Democrat's bristling pimped weapons all across the North African Sahel, raking a terror free zone into a colonially "protected" shrapnel exploding hell on earth. (and you also manage to overlook the the-world-is-our-global-battlefield mafioso irony of calling it "The North Atlantic Treaty Organization" even though its vicious, bullying sights are now set on China.)
ocho) you’re more interested in Trump’s mugshot than the western-backed atrocities in Yemen, or, say, the starvation sanctions wracking Syria (which contemptuous "freedom's" uninvited rogue invaders continue to steal oil from, bloodied hand over high-tech fist.) i could fill a whole page with this one, for the progressively militarist CIA-embedded brokered donkeys' Not Trump puppet has kept all his consistently precedented predecessor's illegal sanctions in place, on at least 30 nations. this new form of colonial piracy is just as calamitous as outright war, in which, for example, the bank accounts of poor Afghans have all been stolen as a weird kind of revenge, to punish them, i suppose, for not succumbing to the "freedom" fiefdom's brutal sway.
nueve) you find protests (however concocted) in places like Iran, Venezuela or Cuba infinitely more interesting than protests in places like France, Haiti or Chile. and when the CIA unleashed the very same extremist Uyghur terrorists it had trained up in its assault on Syria (in a failed attempt to topple one of the seven governments slated for regime change prior to 9-11, per the letter revealed by a US general on the air) back into Xinjiang, smack dab in the middle of the new silk road the capital of capital (given their cringing fear of honest competition) was trying to subvert, and they promptly started blowing up police stations and murdering people, and the Chinese government decided to try to "re-educate" them, and the "liberal" press chimed in with their conservative mirror images, bleating about totalitarian governments, it never once occurred to you that maybe, just perhaps, the perpetrators of such appalling wounds might really not be entitled to an opinion about how their once and future would be victims choose to deal with the terror flung their way.
diez) you oppose guns except when they’re being used to kill foreigners overseas. (now that that job has already been accomplished satisfactorily here, thanks to the American Revolution, which actually commenced when the British outlawed slavery and forbade any further Westward expansion; the resulting revolutionary freedom to kill eventually managing to wipe out enough language families and cultures to hide an unseemly genocide under the proudly independent "protection" racketed patriot bracketed presumptuous and smug narrative shuffling rug of "the homeland.")
once) you’ve ever accused anyone who criticizes US foreign policy of being a Russian or Chinese stooge. (though i do get how it's possible to confuse an insistent focus on honesty with being "unAmerican.")
doce) you’ve ever accused someone who criticizes Israel of being an anti-Semite. (all this stoked focus on the Nazis' atrocities from eighty years back, and here we have a modern day pure race brutalising the "other" which "freedom's" "representatives" trip over themselves to support.)
and, well in time for Hallowe'en (which always lives in our hearts,)
good old number thirteen (Alfonso's absolute favourite
)...
trece) you think it’s okay for the US, in either its blue or red guise (the only options, naturally, it would ever allow you to redundantly "vote" for) to keep waging wars, destroying nations, starving civilian populations with economic sanctions, instigating proxy wars, arming neo-Nazis and violent jihadists, staging coups
)...trece) you think it’s okay for the US, in either its blue or red guise (the only options, naturally, it would ever allow you to redundantly "vote" for) to keep waging wars, destroying nations, starving civilian populations with economic sanctions, instigating proxy wars, arming neo-Nazis and violent jihadists, staging coups
and persecuting journalists, because if it doesn’t do those things the world might
be taken over by evil tyrants.
- a wisened mouse and the wily elf, himself (decorating a down under sister's blister.)
well, that's the lot. thanks for stopping by. 
[inspired by Caitlin Johnstone's "30 Signs You Might Be An Empire Simp"]:
[
p.s. the visual aids are, ever so obviously, by the wondrous Mister Fish.]