Evan Hawthorn's Blog

Evan Hawthorn's Blog
(visual aid by Christian Schloe)

Sunday, October 4, 2015

the Curmudgeons are introduced (an excerpt from "Sludge White and the Seven Curmudgeons")

the primal mantle devoured the cottage,
erasing the fleeting distinctions of form.
the chorus of insects wavered in waves,
like patterns of rain in the currents of a storm.
the penitent clock told the ticking tale
of the untended moments of unheeded time.
and a discarded heart lay soundly sleeping,
her garments in tatters, her face smudged with grime.

faint embers popped up in a muted succession,
scattering glimmer on emerald leaves;
spilling luminescence in delicate streams,
filtered through windows beneath the dusky eaves.
the princess abruptly flashed open her eyes
and frantically scoured the star-glistened gloom;
for it dawned on her that those whispers were real,
and surely rustling in that very room.

"sleeping!" hissed a voice.  "of all the brazen cheek!
and what in blazes has happened to the place?
how could the watchrug and battlerack vanish?
it's not in their nature to not leave a trace."

"keep your voice down!" urged a lilting undertone.
"she's most likely some relation of the king's.
that frock she's wearin' cost more than you can count!
i fancy her bleedin' 'orse has gilded wings!"

"easy now, Mock!" said a dulcet companion.
"that wretched dress is coming apart in strands.
imagine what the poor dear must have gone through
before the fates placed her safely in our hands!"

"oh, stuff a sock in it!" the first voice snarled.
"she's one of them, Sappy.  why else would she glow?
no doubt the king's soldiers are combing the forest.
when they find us, you'll be the first to go!"

soft sounds of sobbing emerged from the shadows.
"there's subtlety for you." said the one called Mock.
"our Rashful's in a class on 'is ownsome.
'e dices apples with an anvil and a rock."

"watch it, brother Mock, you're treading on thin ice!"
Rashful retorted with a tongue edged in steel
bloating the air with menacing tension,
a blustering infection bubbling on a heel.

a stifled gasp cut the conflict in its tracks
and seven hooded heads turned with one accord.
Sludge White was riveted by attention
their focus combining to forge an optic sword.
she breathed in slowly, while gathering her wits
trusting that the deer would somehow keep her calm.
for the well of empathy bided with her
providing unspoken, reassuring balm.

Sappy was the first to sever the silence.
"since she's awake we may as well have some light."
then orange flames flickered and danced on the walls
and the contents of the room loomed into sight.
Pasty's eerie day spent inside the cottage
had depleted her supply of startled cries.
so when it turned out the candles were self-starting,
she didn't even register surprise.

"what are you doing here?" Rashful bludgeoned the point,
shedding more luster on his blunted charm.

"i'm fleeing from the queen's wrath" was her answer.
"by my oath i didn't mean you any harm."

"and why would 'er precious self not fancy you?
'as 'er Majesty been blinded by your glare?"
Mock was not disposed to cut her any slack,
and he hardened his brow with an ice-bound stare.

she swallowed back her timid trepidation.
"i've no clue why a price was placed on my head.
yet the wind and these woods interceded.
were it not for their shelter i'd likely be dead."

there was something compelling in this statement,
earnestly exposing her perilous case.
Sappy's heart was opened immediately,
and a thaw trickled down Mock's cold flinty face.

"but how did our cottage come to look like this?"
Rashful proceeded with his obdurate air.
behind him two others gradually emerged.
there was something not quite right about the pair.
the hands of the first one never stopped probing
the personal space of whoever was near.
the other had oil oozing from his pores,
and suggested something naughty with his leer.

"sit down my dear, and tell us all about it"
said Sappy politely, pointing at the couch.
"please don't mind Rashful, or let him offend you.
he can't help himself, he's a natural grouch."
at this Rashful bridled and folded his arms,
scrunching his face in a glowering scowl.
as the others took seats in the candlelight,
rueful reproaches were broached by an owl.

versed in her father's political parlance
of splintered nuance and manifold meanings
the princess designed a diplomatic pitch
to provoke the most lenient of leanings.
the scent of her mother seeping recollection
spilled from a quiver, deep within the well,
underpinning her pressing entreaty
with the loving embrace of a lingering spell.

"bewildered by your savvy appliances,
and dismayed by their animated defense;
we sought to diminish the presence of threats,
thereby committing unintended offense.
when we first encountered your charming cottage,
we overlooked the potential of tenants.
thus my friends and i humbly beseech you, kind sirs,
to accept our regrets and our penance."

at the close of her speech she lowered her head,
somberly waiting for her hosts to respond.
the one who'd been crying had never let up,
and now he was sopped in a slough of despond.
Sappy squeezed tears from his dripping handkerchief,
and winking at the princess, passed him a pail.
"but my dear you haven't introduced yourself!
what is your name, child, and from whence do you hail?"

"i'm called Sludge White.  i was sired by the king,
and kept in the keep of his castle since birth.
my mother, his first wife, long since departed
the veil of illusion that fetters the earth."

this news gave the room an electrical jolt,
wiring its currents with overwrought thought.
seven pairs of eyes swapped eloquent glances,
fraught with furtive drifts, surreptitiously caught.

Mock rose to his feet and doffed his yellow hood,
a crimson blush suggesting he was bashful.
"this chatty chappie's Sappy.  i go by Mock.
and i dare say you're acquainted with Rashful."

Sappy presented a splendid courtly bow,
while Rashful let slip a perfunctory nod.
"this one wailin' in 'is pail we call Weepy,
a sodden and soggy, saturated sod.
that's Sleazy in the corner next to Gropey,
who'd better watch out, or 'e'll wind up stumpy.
the bloke what's leanin' on the back of the couch
is the shapeless wonder our lot calls Lumpy."

"i'm pleased to meet you" said Weepy with a smile,
as he wistfully wiped his blubbering eyes.
how he managed a supply of fresh hankies,
or kept his clothes dry, one can only surmise.
Sleazy's wrinkles crinkled in a wanton wink.
Gropey hid his hands with indelicate haste.
a form-challenged fellow quite covered in bumps
did his best to bend an improbable waist.

Pasty curtsied to each one in succession,
deftly evading Gropey's dexterous hands;
then attempted an armistice with Rashful,
by plucking on a string from overheard strands.
"not meaning to eavesdrop i happened to note
your concern for your watchrug and battlerack.
i believe my friends could help you retrieve them
from the cleft of a cliff, ensconced in a sack."

Rashful's jaw dropped and he might have been nasty,
but happily Sappy said something instead.
"there'll be time enough for all that in the morning.
it's awfully late, we ought to be abed.
we'll push two or three of ours together, love.
this couch has an off-putting reputation.
on the morrow we'll build you a four-poster,
and assemble a cliff-bound deputation."

so with stretches and yawns they mounted the stairs,
and the flickering candles promptly went out.
and the skulking rat in the pay of the queen
stealthily slinked up the slanted gutter spout.
then the crickets lost interest in their love songs.
and the glitter faded from the starlight's beams.
and the deepest dark that comes just before dawn
descended on the sleepers, dimming their dreams.

far away in a dank, forsaken cellar
a rapacious monarch reposed on her throne;
absently probing the reticent distance,
her reflection glaring back with eyes of stone.
to her oft-repeated ravenous queries,
the mirror conjured a brooding, opaque mist;
rendering naught but inscrutable silence
to appease the rampant menace of her fist.

- Evan Hawthorn, the 4th of October, 2015

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